This week has been an interesting one for me. After such a busy year trying to build my business, I had the chance to kind of take a breather between Christmas and New Year's. As I got back to work in the studio, I had this nagging sense that my heart wasn't in it. And I couldn't figure out why. I questioned myself, as I have done in the past--"Is this my path?" "Is this what I still love to do?"
I have to admit, I wasn't sure I was liking what I heard my mind answering back to those questions. Last night, as I was working late to get some things finished up in the studio, I was tired and drained. And I felt frustrated that as a sole single business owner, it is entirely up to me to keep this thing moving in the direction I want it to go. These days, with a 4-year old still attending pre-school (and who will be going to preschool for another year), my work is done in a few morning shifts (if I forgo a workout) and immediatelyl after Evan goes to bed. So I have two jobs.
I know, it kind of sounds like whining, which is what I eventually told myself. That I needed to enjoy the fleeting moments with my little boy and try to use what time I have to build my business. And then I got a good night sleep.
Today, my heart was pumping with excitement. My production samples arrived today for my Fall 2010 catalog submissions, which are due next week. And they look fabulous! So that got my heart going...And then, today in the mail I received my first check from the said catalog above for the first round of Spring 2010 pieces that will debut in their catalog sometime this month. That REALLY got my blood pumping.
So the answer today to "Is this my path?" is a resounding yes. I think it's good to ask ourselves every once in awhile if we are headed in the right direction. Sometimes we end up on a road that we don't think too much about, and then 10 miles down it, when the road signs start to get dingy and there isn't any sign of life, we wonder if this really was the place we were meant to be. It takes awhile to regroup, turn around, and find a junction that suits us better if we aren't consciously living that path.
I wish for each of you the time to answer those questions you've been mulling around in your head. The ones that maybe only you or a few close to you know about. And in the stillness, I wish that you find the answer--whether it keeps you firmly afoot on the path you are already on or has you making a sharp right turn.
thank you for your post. Somdays they are a true mirror for me, and always help me too clarify. I am an aspiring WAHM trying to quit the day job to spend more time with my four year old and a 10 month old. Focusing on the path that I always wanted and trying to balance it with family, while keeping the self intact :)
ReplyDeleteI can relate! It's not always easy Inspired, but there's one thing I know: my path may not be yours, and vice versa. It's been a big lesson for me. Good luck in trying to get yourself on your true authentic path!
ReplyDelete