It was the best of times, it was the worst of times....

"Restlessness and discontent are the first necessities of progress."
Thomas A. Edison

I am overwhelmed, and when I get this way, what do I do? I go to bed. EARLY.
This makes me feel like a complete failure, of course, because there are so many great things I need to work on in the studio. Instead of working on them, I go to bed. EARLY.
But after putting together so much work for my catalog submission last week, and grappling wtih so many things on the personal front, I am freaking exhausted. I have nothing left in my soul for creativity.
I know it's what I should be doing--burning the midnight oil to get shit DONE. But I feel like I am swimming through mud and not getting anywhere.
I think part of it is that I have all this pent up ideas and energy as it relates to my business. But the only time I get to do it is after my son goes to bed. And after he goes to bed, I'm just plain tired from life's many activities.
It doesn't help that life at the moment is pretty difficult in my house. So I guess I should be looking at the positive side of things: I am doing pretty great considering all the crap that is going on in my life.
But for someone who has always been able to drive herself, this is a hard place for me to be. To have so many ideas and not want to do any of them...
I think part of it is the pressure I've put on myself. For lots of reasons, this is the year that my business needs to make it. By that I mean get on the map and stay there and grow, grow GROW. I know, a tall order in this economy, but an order nonetheless.
I am not so usually down on things, but today I am. And for that I truly apologize.
But maybe by getting it out I can start anew. After all, I have things to DO.
So tonight I will go to bed. EARLY. And tomorrow I am dragging my ass out bed and stopping this pity party that I've started for myself. It's just too depressing for me!

On the Eve of my 41st Year.

"It is miraculous to see people

change when they see they have

choices. They open up like roses

if they see they can make a difference--that they do have value."

Barbara Glanz

I meant to post this last night, BEFORE my birthday today, but after 2 glasses of wine kind of forgot about it. So here's my post:

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Tomorrow, much like every morning we wake up to the sun, is a new day. But it is a special day because it is my birthday.

I look back on my life and can't believe that I'm already in my 40s. It sounds like a cliche, but where did the time go? I look over the past year and I have taken stock of the things that are truly important to me.

When you are stripped down, emotionally bare and running through your life nake and vulnerable, it is so much easier to see what is important.

So on the eve of my birthday, I am taking stock of what I have learned in the past year:

• Love is everywhere, even in places you aren't looking. Be aware of it and learn to find it in the midst of pain.
• My life is beautiful, and if I don't feel that it is at times, then it is up to me to find out why and fix it.
• I am the source of my own happiness.
• There is nothing like the love of a child.
• There is nothing like the love of friends. Good friends who love you no matter what!
• There is nothing like sweating it out at the gym. And waking up to a stronger body the next morning.
• If you believe you can do it, YOU WILL. I took big leaps this year, leaps that I would have never taken before. Instead of falling flat on my face (as I used to fear) I soared.
• No matter what, I will be Ok.
• You never know what's going on in other people's lives. Tread lightly.
• Believe in yourself and others will believe in you, too.
• Love yourself unconditionally.
• Learn to look at your weaknesses and be ok with them. Don't beat yourself up! Instead, embrace them and learn to find new ways to channel them.
• Be you. Everyone else is taken.

I will look to the next year, out on the horizon so nigh, with a smile and courage.

I will look to this coming year as a doorway of hope, light and love. I will open the door with a firm grip and my head held high. I will take this next leap of faith and savor it.

A Dream Come True!

"In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can."
Michael Korda

It's already been a busy week, but I am fueled by sheer joy!

As I write this, I am knee deep in samples for the next round of submissions for my catalog opportunity. The submissions for Fall 2010 are due next week, and I still have some pieces I need to finish!

Taking a break tonight from my work, I took a peek at said catalog to see if my designs that were selected for their spring book had made their way online yet.

I figured they would be making their debut soon, as the big retailers like to have new designs for Valentine's Day, but wasn't sure when they would appear.

As I looked at the new work, I saw the two pieces that they have selected for their spring collection! The Etched Mandala earrings (at upper left) and the Etched Mandala Necklace (below) are part of their Featured Designer collection in the Golden Bear's Spring Catalog!

I am so thrilled that my work has made it to the mainstream, and am honored to be in the company of some truly amazing designers with national reputations.

It will no doubt keep me moving tonight, and will keep me dreaming and pursuing my goal of making this passion of mine into something that not only sustains my soul, but also sustains my pocketbook.

I was once a person who doubted myself. I was once a person who would allow the shadowy voice of criticism to creep in and decide things for me. I was once my own worst enemy.

But not anymore--and this proves it. I slayed that dragon and have something tangible to show for it.

And I have something even more: a truly authentic self.

Burned out? Not anymore....

This week has been an interesting one for me. After such a busy year trying to build my business, I had the chance to kind of take a breather between Christmas and New Year's.

As I got back to work in the studio, I had this nagging sense that my heart wasn't in it. And I couldn't figure out why. I questioned myself, as I have done in the past--"Is this my path?" "Is this what I still love to do?"

I have to admit, I wasn't sure I was liking what I heard my mind answering back to those questions. Last night, as I was working late to get some things finished up in the studio, I was tired and drained. And I felt frustrated that as a sole single business owner, it is entirely up to me to keep this thing moving in the direction I want it to go. These days, with a 4-year old still attending pre-school (and who will be going to preschool for another year), my work is done in a few morning shifts (if I forgo a workout) and immediatelyl after Evan goes to bed. So I have two jobs.

I know, it kind of sounds like whining, which is what I eventually told myself. That I needed to enjoy the fleeting moments with my little boy and try to use what time I have to build my business. And then I got a good night sleep.

Today, my heart was pumping with excitement. My production samples arrived today for my Fall 2010 catalog submissions, which are due next week. And they look fabulous! So that got my heart going...And then, today in the mail I received my first check from the said catalog above for the first round of Spring 2010 pieces that will debut in their catalog sometime this month. That REALLY got my blood pumping.

So the answer today to "Is this my path?" is a resounding yes. I think it's good to ask ourselves every once in awhile if we are headed in the right direction. Sometimes we end up on a road that we don't think too much about, and then 10 miles down it, when the road signs start to get dingy and there isn't any sign of life, we wonder if this really was the place we were meant to be. It takes awhile to regroup, turn around, and find a junction that suits us better if we aren't consciously living that path.

I wish for each of you the time to answer those questions you've been mulling around in your head. The ones that maybe only you or a few close to you know about. And in the stillness, I wish that you find the answer--whether it keeps you firmly afoot on the path you are already on or has you making a sharp right turn.

New Year Sale at OriginalHardware.com!

Another year has begun, and we look to the days ahead with optimism and joy, and maybe even a little fear.

We look back on the past year and find the places where we've grown deeper roots; cut down old ones and made way for new growth. I am looking forward to this new year with grace and my head held high.

And I have so many new designs for spring that I must clear out the designs from winter to have room for them all!As a special offer to my customers, Original Hardware.com is having a special sale on all non-sale designs!

Get 25% off all non-sale designs today through Wed., Jan. 13th!Enter the promo code 'NewYear' at checkout to receive your discount.

Also, be sure to check out the 'On Sale' section for amazing markdowns of up to 40%!

Thank you for your business, inspiration and support this past year. I look forward to another great year with each of you!